gateway

2009-06-13T18:32:00.000-07:00

Just a quick photo update that doesn't say terribly much about our daily lives, but just glimpses of the physical. What takes up all my mental and spiritual energy is what is happening in the unseen, but for that report a coversation will be needed.

Anyway pictured here, the newly painted house, my shop crammed into the garage out of which i amd now producing my third kitchen and misc furniture and overflowing onto the back porch. A few good evenings spent out on the boat fishing and the local Fish Lake fishing derby today where the boys all walked away with prizes, so we'll have friends over tomorrow and feed on the trout we caught.

2009-03-27T20:23:00.000-07:00

I,m 3 hours away from the house project, sitting in the sunshine looking out over the water from a good friends living room and reflecting on the journey over the past year. The first days of April 2008 we were here, newly arrived back from South Africa, me the sickest i'd ever been with the hepatitus bug i pcked up in our travels and wondering what the next step was. We were literally booted out of the nest by our community here and ended up moving to Plain , welcomed into the most loving, hungry for God's presence, extraordinary community that i've ever had the delight to be a part of in my life. Real people, living life and pursuing God together. Much of the past year has been building those new relationships, exploring new insights into Fathering and building a house while Jesus builds through and in us a home and community(the dearest thing to His heart) I have experienced His kindness (Lovingkindness is the word King David uses) and favor in ways that some days have left me speechless (a rare thing for me) and stunned.

So, we're building a home, and in two weeks we plan to move in, one year to the day that we moved to Plain, a journey that would fill volumes in order to describe the conversations, relationships, help, dreams details and descisions that take so much mind space as to leave room for little else. But there have still been times of God encounters, around every corner He waits, lovingkindness, patience Grace and Grace and Grace oh and did i say kindness that i'm learning to expect even though it still takes me by surprise. Isiah 25 v 6 - 10 is the passage that describes what Gateway ( our home ) is to become: "And the Lord of hosts will prepare a lavish banquet for all peoples on this mountain; a banquet of aged wine, choice pieces withmarrowand refined aged wine. And on this mountai He will swallow up the covering which is over all peoples, even the veil which is stretched over all nations. He will sallow up death for all time, and the Lord God will wipe tears away from all faces and He will remove the reproach of His people from all the earth, for the Lord has spoken. And it will be said in that day, 'behold this is our God for whom we have waited that He might save us. This is the Lord for whome we have waited; let us rejoice and be glad in His salvation. For the hand of the Lord will rest on this mountain and Moab will be trodden down in his place as straw is trodden down in the water of a manure pile."

For year Becky and i have onged to be healed and be part of a healing community and now we are in the road, getting off the ground, learning to fly, to overcome, to be in agreement with what God says and with His amazing loving intentions for us and the community we live in and as we see and believe with the eyes of faith we become more free to be what he intended all along. As we hear His voice and agree with His declarations over us and our community and we in turn decare it and live it out we go from strength to strength as He is strong for us. I'm aware now how inadequate words are to describe the journey we're on, how it feels to wake up in the morning with an expectation of goodness, regardless of the circumstance, because in my weakness He shows Himself strong, He pitches His tent over me. Words aren't sufficient to describe what it is like to be taught by the greatest teacher, councillor and comforter in the universe. Holy Spirit, you are awesome, surprising and you breathe life into me like no other, i'm lost in wonder some days and others, you're just a thought away, just a remembering or a question is enough to know your always closeness.

2008-12-24T11:14:00.000-08:00

It's Christmas eve, i'm sitting looking out of the window at the falling snow. I'm not out in it, my toes are warm and my fingers unfrozen. the individual flakes are so amazingly intricate and the gathering together of them transforms the world. It makes m long for the body of Christ to be so, each one amazingly intricate, designed and loved, yet when we get together the world is clean and white and silent. There the image breaks down as all analogies do, "for now we see only in part" as Paul says in 1st Cor 13. Anyway, for snow to fall and stay around the conditions need to be right. And Holy Spirit is at work in the world creating the right conditions....

In the meantime, the daily round: i wake up thankfulness in my heart for a warm home and resources to build a new one for my family and friends to enjoy, a place to welcome strangers and see them transformed into friends, to see Isiah 25 v 6 - 10 become a reality. Out i go into the cold framing, siding plumbing electrical and the immense task of building a house goes on My brother Rod arrived Dec 7th and has been an immense help with siding the house and braving the waaay below freezing weather. We work and then huddle around the fire to thaw our frozen digits and faces. The tractor has been earning it's keep blowing snow from the driveway ( i love useful machinery) and when Rod gets on it a can't get him to quit, he's ready to clear snow from the whole town. Part of the cost of building a house is the room it takes in my mind. There are so may things to remember, so many decisions to make, it's quite overwhelming at times. I get home at night and fall asleep the moment i set my body down. We are so blessed to have this warm quiet rental house for the winter. The boys work at their schoolwork and then spend their hours creating, each in their own way, lego's, knex, drawing cutting and pasting, snow forts and sledding, Christmas plays, royal rangers, boys club and story time fill their days. We are truly beyond blessed living in this amazing community. It's like a womb, warm, healthy, nurturing, readying us to be sent out again for our next assignment in the world.

before

after

Rod wraps the house like a giant Christmas present

It seems like i have spent my life up on a ladder

our respite from Jack Frost's attacks

I love this little red baby!

I take a break from house building to train as a snowmobile guide.

Just an excuse to get out, away and meet more people. So Rod got to go with me on the first trip

It's a clod cold world out there.

We mad 35 gallons of cider in the frreezing cold. Next year we'll definitely do it earlier!

the boys at play

So we're off to play in the snow, visit with friends and enjoy a few days relaxing and trying to think of something other than the house. Merry Christmas to you all. I dream of having each of you to come and stay with us in our winter wonderland and while away the hours together, reminiscing about a life lived under the favor and blessing of our Warrior Father King.

Vision

2008-11-22T20:13:00.000-08:00

I remember the day i showed this picture to some good friends of mine, excited about the purchase of the piece of land we now call "Gateway". The comment was:"boy you must have vision to see anything in that ugly barn. So after a long almost 3 year journey, studded all along the way with many moments of revelation and mind renewing flashes of Jesus unending kindness we hit a major milestone this week. Isiah 25 v 6 - 10 has been the passage that we have camped on and fed on for the past few years. So from a rumpled cobbled together barn in a tangle of trees, we see a home rising above the trees to take in the magnificent view of the valley and hamlet below. The milestone was the roofing of the house, and as the house started with a crowd of friends pouring the foundation under the barn, the roof was put on by a crew of men working hard to get it all done before the snow begins to fall, with my friend Aaron topping it off with he final layer of roofing. So here's a little photo essay of the journey sofar.

This is the Barn and property before we bought it in the Spring of 2006 (April for the S hemisphere folks)

Earl the logger, cuts down the first tree, clearing away for a good view

Good friends Art and Lisa camp out for a week of hard labor digging a foundation under the old barn. Note the Jack hammer to break up the concrete state of the clay in summer. When it rains it turns to soupy mess.

Getting the forms ready to pour concrete. My right arm's tendons were so inflamed from digging in the hard clay that i could do no good to help on the day of the concrete pour, but that's what friends are for and they showed up in droves to help out.

Father and son, Greg and Stephen manouver the big elephant hose of the concret pump truck

Note Becky's bold moves in the background

My three helpers dive in for a few minutes here and there to pull nails and pick up stuff.

Skye earns a penny a nail picking them up and is currently at about $15

Tim helps out with building the well house on top of the 1500 gallon storage tank on a trip over Last summer

By way of explanation, Gateway is about 3 hours drive from Anacortes and we would come over about once a month or so to work on the property until we got back from South Africa in April this year. We felt certain that it was time to move to Plan permenantly, even though we had not yet sold our house in Anacortes. We lived in this 5th wheel trailer, kindly lent to us by a friend, from April till October. Our house sold in October and the day after we recieved the offer we found a place to rent for the winter. Once again, Father's timing is always perfect.

The long drop (actually a prety short drop as i dug the new hole in the summer by hand!)

The black domes are infiltrator panels for the massive drainfield system that we have to have for the septic. 270 ' of trench, two 1000gal tanks and more electronics and pumps than you could imagine, just to deal with poop!

Finally the roof comes off and work on the house begins. Our Anacortes house still has not closed, but we feel Father blessing the move to go ahead with the framing, so i subcontract it out to my framer friend Rob.

Walls going up ( the good kind)

My Little red helper gets unloaded 3 days after the Anacortes house money is in the bank.

This baby will dig ditches, plough snow, grade roads, move logs and lumber and generally save me hours of backbreaking work.

Beams go up on the day of our first snowfall!

The race is on to see of we can get it roofed before the snow comes to stay.

Framers race to sheet and paper the roof while Aaron is hot on their tails with roofing shingles going down at high speed.

The view from the roof as the rain and snow fall all around us. I asked for a miracle and we had no rain or snow the whole day we were working on roofing. as we pcked up for the day the sleet began. The next day was dry too. Yeah God!!!!

Now here is a man sized saw. Jason helps me cut beams and posts for woodhenge, the porches on each side of the house.

Thar she be folks, the house as of 4 pm today. Future home of the campbells and anyone else that may need a home, place of feasing, fine wines, veils being removed, blindness, deafness and brokenness healed and the exclamation " this is our God for whom we have been waiting and longing" Isiah 25v 6 - 10

2008-10-24T00:58:00.000-07:00

It has been a pretty full few months and all the good intentions in the world have not gotten me to sit down at the computer and document this for you guys. Tonight however, i have lain in bed sleepless, mind racing between the amazing blessing of being a son of the most high Father God and the million details entailed in building a house on the beautiful piece of land that we own. In short our house sold, actually it closes Oct 29 th, after a deeply convicting realization of my place as steward of that land and my responsibility not to just shift the selling of it onto Jesus shoulders, but to ask as steward what His intentions and desires were and then to pray along with Him for the "on earth as it is in heaven" So after two weeks on concerted praying, something shifted and we had a miracle as a buyer came along, made us an offer, accepted our offer and signed the deal, all while i was out in the back country on a Father son trip, doing business by cell phone. The wonders and usefulness of modern technology.

Well there has been several days since i wrote that and our house has closed and we no longer own a home in Anacortes, a chapter closed and a season ended. Winter is fast approaching, frosty mornings, the leaves have lost their stunning colors and the sky is grey. We are racing the snow to get the roof on our house here in Plain so that i can spend the winter finishing off the inside. There is an interesting nesting instinct that happens here in the fall, somehow the knowledge that everything will be covered in several feet of snow for the next 4 to 6 months makes you want to tidy up outside and cover up and build shelters and get the firewood in and hunker down for the winter. We are blessed with a great little house that we are able to rent for the winter, perfect for our family, room for friends, warm and a great meeting room above the garage for doing men's group, setting up the slot cars or hanging out with a bunch of people.

Each day we are delighted more and more by this amazing community of people that we get to live amongst. So many new things for the boys and for us. I got to bow hunt this fall with my own home built longbow and learned a lot about deer, but did not get one yet, though i have 2 more weeks to hunt in late November. My hunting partner John got a doe and we got the boys all out there to witness field dressing it.

The weather has definitely changed to winter, rain turning to snow. I think that we'll get the roof on just in time. Here are some pics of the project and the amazing views from upstairs.

So each full day goes by, cabinet work keeps coming in like a flood, a new mens group with 6 guys on thursday mornings, a sunday school gathering with men before church on sundays, Royal rangers on thursday nights, squeezing in hours wherever possible at Gateway, managing framers, getting bids purchasing materials and doing whatever work i can fit in to build the house, work on the facility for the new community pantry to reach out to the needy in the community, training to be Family Foundations facilitators, praying and dreaming with God for this community, wrestling through the tensions of Fathering 3 boys as i deal with the lies about myself that i've made agreement with for so many years, and overall just basking in the sunshine of Grace and an ALWAYS good Father.

2008-06-22T08:31:00.000-07:00

We are in such an amazing season at the moment. Yesterday i went down the river with Curtis who spent a few weeks in SA at Anton and Hazel's last year and was deeply impacted by his trip. As we were floating along a section of waves, he told the kids in the boat to close their eyes and just experience without seeing. I closed my eyes too and just had this amazing sensations my sense of hearing was heightened and the motion of the boat and the temperature of the air and water were more intensely felt. It brought about a new understanding of what this season of our lives is all about right now. When i lose ( or voluntarily give up ) the use of one of my senses, it heightens the others significantly. In our lives right now, not being able to see ahead is heightening other senses, like the ability to hear the unhearable, the quiet whispers of Fathers voice, the ability to feel the wind of the Spirit blowing us in a particular direction, one which words can't really explain. We live by faith, not by sight, faith being confident in that which has not yet been revealed to the senses.

We have not sold our home in Anacortes yet and the split up of our property here in Plain has stalled once more in bureaucratic red tape. Yet as i choose to focus on what God is doing rather than what he is not doing, choose to hear His voice rather than the squalling of circumstances, somehow He lets me into a whole other realm of seeing without eyes and hearing without ears. Maybe this is what Paul writes about in 2 nd Cor 4, fixing our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, for what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

2008-05-30T19:21:00.000-07:00

I'm looking out of the trailer window at the greening valley, the sun is out the days are warm and everything is growing as fast as it can here in the mountains. The smell of pine trees a fresh air is like narcotics to me and each morning Becky and i wake up with the question " what are you up to today Father?"

I sat with Phil the pastor of the church here in Plain and talked about worship being something so much more than singing the same old songs and even the latest new ones each week. Worship we decided and are living, is simply recognising Jesus presence and responding to it. Walking through each day with our eyes and ears open to catch a glimpse and hear a whisper of His presence and when we see or hear just to revel in the moment. It's like an endless game of hide and seek with Daddy. No wonder Jesus says that we need to be like little children to see the Kingdom of God.

In the midst of our new life that is developing here in Plain, we have a house left in Anacortes that costs us too much money to have just sitting there empty each month, it has become a burden and my focus turned to it all this last week and i began to be offended at God for not selling it so we can get on with our lives here in the valley, build a house and get settled before winter comes. When i get offended with God and focus on what He is not doing, my whole life seems to spin out of control and circumstaces become bigger than Jesus can handle and i feel a desprate need to take control of things, and people and all that results from that is an ugly mess that i have to repent my way out of. Restoration only happens when i" set my eyes on things unseen" (1 Corinthians 4) and focus on what Jesus is doing and trust absolutely in His goodness and kind intentions toward me. What a rollercoaster the past few days has been and the hurt my family has had to suffer because i get angry when i feel out of control.

But there is grace! and iam a beloved son! It makes no sense in my mind and culture that there should be any grace for my failure or that i could be even remotely loveable at all, But Jesus....
we all know that He died for our sins, but i never knew till recently that He did'nt die to wipe out sin, but His motivation was that He loves me so much that He would rather die than live without me!

2008-04-20T16:49:00.000-07:00

Wow it's been along time since i updated this thing, but now we're back in the USA i have an internet connection that can cope with doing this. It has been an amazing adventure into expriencing Jesus kindnes that past months in South Africa and now the past 3 weeks that we have been home.We enjoyed a week together with my family over easter again and just saw God's amazing grace at work as more of the old barries to relationship were broken down. I've arrived back here to the other side of the world feeling for the first time in my life that i have left my family behind. I have come to discover that the word repentance really means to have a changed mind. Re means to go back and Pent is the same word that begins penthouse, the top floor of a building, so repentance simply means "go back to the top." In other words, go pack to God's perspective on reality! Having a renewed mind is the most freeing thing in the world and i am become more and more addicted to God's perspective!

We hopped on the airplane in Durban on March 31st and began one of the most harrowing flights i have ever experienced. By the time we fell into the loving arms of my dear friend Neil in Seattle and were placed into the comfort of his lovely home, i was dry as dust and felt like death warmed up. As this did not get any better and i began to turn more yellow each day i decided it was time to get a blood test and figure out wether i had hepatitis which is what we had begun to expect. A few days later it was confirmed that not only did i have Hep A, but tested positive for Hep B antigens as well. By this time i was feeling better each day. After very uncomfortable week and then feeling better each day i was amazed to find that in the midst of it all i could lie in bed and find nothing but peace inside of me, not worry or fear or even mild concern. The peace that truy passes all understanding had been guarding my heart and mind "in Christ Jesus"

We spent a few days camping out in our old, empty moved out of home in Anacortes and then left for Plain on a journey of discovery, to see if this was where the next chapter of our lives was to be lived out. We had been suspecting for some time that we were to spend a season here and each day spent at Stonewater Ranch it became clear that this was where Jesus wants us to be. So the long and short of it all is that On thursday last week i drove over here with a 5th wheel trailer kindly lent to us by a friend, towed with another friends truck. I parked the trailer and headed home to return the truck and then on Friday 18th April we officially moved to Plain Washington, now having a mailing address here! We drove most of the 3 hours in an unseasonably late snowstorm/blizzard and shivered the night away in the trailer. On Saturday i got all the necessary connections wired and plumbed and now our 35 foot by7foot home is warm, lighted and has running water. The tempratures have been well below freezing each night, meaning i have to drain the water lines before going to bed, but both mornings we have woken up to sunshine and a light dusting of snow. This morning we sat out in the sunshine by the campfire and made breakfast on our skottel ( cast iron ploughshare)before we left for church.

April 21st: Today i did the first day's paid work in 5 months. I started working for a local cabinet maker here in Plain named Pete Lambeth. I felt very rusty getting back into cabinetmaking mode, but thoroughly enjoyed the day and enjoyed working with Pete. It is a part time job while we work the rest of the time on the house and help out at Youth Dynamics off and on also. When our house sells in Anacortes, we'll have the finances to go full steam ahead on the house at Gateway. For those that don't know Gateway is the name of the 3.8 acre property we own in Plain and are building a house on to use for retreats, prayer ministry, mens retreats and for guests to come and be quiet for a while. Isiah 25 v 6 - 9 is the theme verse that has been pinned up over the door since before we bought the place.

Tim helping Dad build the well house last summer.

I took some pics of us just moved into the trailer, but the cord for my camera is somewhere between here and our old house and misplaced in the move so they will have to wait, instead some old pics, but to show where we are living at the moment.

2008-02-21T04:03:00.000-08:00

this is the view of where we live ( the houses at bottom right)

I'm sitting sweltering in the heat of a King Willaims Town summer day. This is the Town i spent much of my childhood in arriving in 6th grade to boarding school. It is not exactly pleasant to be back as most of my memories of this town and school are not pleasant, however it is good to spend time with my family and enjoy the growing relationship between us. The boys are loving the swimming pool at my brothers house and Skye is loving going to school with his cousin Nathan. Tim has been to the playschool at Grandma's house a couple of times too. (grandma lives at the church where the shool is) Keldan the chip off the old block would not even set foot in the school, not even for the experience. Just as well we're home schooling him! We spent a day at the beach where i learned to surf as a kid and the boys caught fish in the same rockpools i did with my Grandpa. I think that after a week and half we are looking forward to getting back to the cooler less humid mountains at Kululapa. (Anton and Hazel's farm)

The men's camp that we had at Kululapa jst before we left was an eye opening time for some of the guys and a good reminder for the others. The guys who led the wek end was one of my childhood heroes. Sean was on YFC team when i was a kid and used to stay at our house often. I enjoyed getting to know him again and see how Jesus is using the heart that i loved so much back 31 years ago. The morning of the camp i had planned to book the rental car that we were to drive down to King williams Town with. I felt led not to do that, but instead asked Father if He would provide us with one. That week end one of the guys at camp who i recognised from the years i lived at L'Abri offered to lend us a car. He is a car dealer and set us up with a luxurious van for the drive. What a blessing, as we would have to have crammed ourself into a small car as that was all we could afford. So once again we are recipients of our Father's rich blessings through the kids who love Him. We will be staying with Greg and Alice his wife and their 5 daughters and son on our way home. They have an 1800 acre farm that they long to turn into a community where the tenets of Jesus Kingdom can be lived out practically. Sadly they can't find any "christians who want to take Jesus literally. Everyone seem's to be too busy building their own kindom's living out their own plans and storing up for themselves treasures on earth and worrying over how to safeguard them from theft and depreciation.

I wonder at how easily the enemy has duped us into blieving that happiness and security come from posessions, and 401K's and investments in the so easily destructible stock exchange. How easily we are impressed by the words of men who care only for themselves, and so little for the words of Jesus who loved us so much that He gave up his Glory and was rejected by His Father and died for love of us.

As Becky and i live out this season, we are deeply challenged to look at ur priorities and lifestyle again. As i weigh them up against Jesus words i am left feeling the hollow self centredness of much of what we have built and gathered around ourelves. We are looking forward to something deeper as we journey with Jesus. The only thing that can change the world is His presence and His love lived out through us.

For He who would seek to save his life will lose it, but he who would lose his life for my sake will gain it.

the boys favorite transportation

our house

Tim looking fierce

2008-01-28T05:01:00.000-08:00

My humble apologies for not getting to write for so long. We definitely live in a different time zone here, everything moving at a very slow pace. African time, they call it. Anywhere we go takes at least an hour or more by car or by foot.
Last week I got to second a friend and his partner on a 3 day canoe (think sea kayak) race down the Duzi river from Pietermaritzburg to Durban, a distance of 120km on the river. There were over 2000 participants in the race, mostly in double canoes. For those in the know it would be like going down the Owyhee river in a seak kayak, a crazy undertaking. Needless to say there was much chaos and carnage on the river, broken boats, frayed tempers and blood, sweat and tears on the long portages. Steve and James did well and survived unscathed. Tomorrow we will join James (an ornithologist for the provincial parks in Kwazulu-Natal) in capturing and ringing some birds at a wetland area. The boys are getting into bird watching since there’s such a huge variety here and they’re easy to see.
We’re making progress on the Lapa ( lodge) in preparation for the Men’s wild at heart camp thet we will be hosting on Feb 8th. Becky is preparing menu’s and shopping lists as well as putting together a brochure for this place which now finally has a name. “Kululapa” means “come and be free” a bit like make yourself at home, but the emphasis of the word is freedom. Coming into real relationship with Jesus results in freedom.
Resources are rather limited, so we’re “making do” with what materials and tools we can scrounge up from hither and yon. The place will end up looking very rustic as a result, but that will fit in nicely with the environment and the groups of men that it is meant for. I will take plenty of pictures and some video, so if I still can’t figure out how to get them on the blog, at least we will be able to show you when we get home. The whole place has been built by men needing to get away from it all for a while and get their hands dirty, fathers and sons needing time together and others who just wanted to give of themselves for a time. As a result it’s more a labor of love than a monument to building skill. It’s now my responsibility to take all the crookedness and character and pull it together into a cohesive useful space. Some days I just spend hours looking at it and wondering how on earth to make it work. It’s a good challenge.
We are enjoying going to church at Shalom very much. I’ve enjoyed getting together with Mark Poree the pastor to chat a couple of times. He has a Kingdom perspective like few people that I know and it’s very inspiring to be taught by him. Yesterday I got to work with him and another pastor and a few of the church staff doing some building in a warehouse that is going to be used for feeding aids orphans from a local squatter camp, as well as a housing the church that they are planting in that community. The sad event of the day was when Keldan and I were driving home, unbeknown to me the water pump died on our little Russian Lada 4x4 resulting in some major damage to the engine. Keldan and I were stranded about 45 min from home until a kind neighbor that I managed to get hold of came and towed us home in the mud and the rain. So our character filled vehicle is unserviceable for the foreseeable future. But with every crisis comes provision, so I look forward to seeing what comes of this. At the very least it will end up with me increasing my skills as a motor mechanic.
On the home front I think that I have come to the beginnings of a breakthrough in being a dad. It’s easy to become a dad by default, a result of marriage and an idealistic view of parenthood. However when the reality of fathering 3 sons sets in, the good idea of family as a priority after relationship with Jesus, soon just becomes lip service as I find escape from the pain of failure in tasks, busyness, discipline and many other ways of not really engaging. Coming here I thought that with all the time in the world available, I would make the most of the opportunity to be with by boys and do things with them. However, the reality is that it’s not a fundamental desire or commitment on my part to be a dad, only a good idea that’s much easier said than done. So with that realization of the truth of my actual position, I’m faced with the choice: Do I continue to parent the way I have been, as a (necessary, but unpleasant) responsibility that comes with having kids? Or: Do I commit myself to loving Becky as Jesus loved the church and gave himself up for her and love my children in the same way, committing myself so sacrificing my life for their sake because they are of inestimable value to me?
I keep thinking of Abraham, called the Father of faith. When he believed God’s promises to him, he committed to living his life accordingly, even though he never did get to see the fulfilment of the promise. He lived his life for the next generation. That’s tough for me since I’m a results person. I like to sit back at the end of the day and see something for my labor. Parenting is not so easy, I can’t control how my children will turn out and if I try, it seems I mostly do damage. Parenting, I’m beginning to realise is a journey of faith. I sow love and presence, care, discipline and time into the boys God has given me and then they choose what they will do with that. I can’t control the outcome, God doesn’t even control the outcome. He always lets us choose. Wow that is love. Anyway I could ramble on for a long time about this as it has filled my thoughts and prayers and conversations with Becky for many days now. Suffice to say that repentance means turning away from my old direction and facing a new way, hand in hand with God’s grace. It seems impossible that he could change my heart so deeply, but I know from experience that with Him all things are possible. Lord I believe, help my unbelief.
So the journey continues.

new years day

2008-01-02T05:12:00.000-08:00

New years day 2008, I went to bed early last night, thinking that really, what is a new year, just a change in numbers on a piece of paper, but it was not to be a night of sleep. I spent long hours lying in bed, interceding for L’abri wilderness school, where we are staying with my family this week. So much has changed here since I left 14 years ago. The place that was such and incredible home and community to me is now nothing more than a shell of buildings and abandoned trails, overgrown and unused. They still run camps here, but many of the staff are not even believers and most are afraid of the forest and stay out of it. Only two people live here full time compared to the 3 couples and 7 single staff in community when I was here. I don’t know what goes on here day to day , but I sense that Jesus is no longer the centre of attention as he has not even been mentioned in their newsletters for the past 10 years.

Two days ago I got to sit with the new director and chat for a few hours, which was very encouraging. His heart is to see the Gospel once more become the focus of the program and the staff who don’t know Jesus be introduced to Him. As I sat up on the hill at the foot of the cross which has been erected at the corner of three of the four properties I sensed more of Fathers heart to come and dwell here so that those who come to one of the four ministries here will meet Jesus and be transformed. There is much work to be done here, both Physically and more importantly, spiritually in repentance and worship, building unity of heart, relationships and attitudes.

Let me back up and describe where we are. We are about 1 hour drive from Pietermaritzburg in Kwazulu/Natal province in the NE corner of South Africa. The terrain is Mountainous, rather like the Appalachians, with plantations of pine, wattle and blue gum, interspersed with grasslands, sugar cane fields and deeper valleys and kloofs (gorges) filled with dense indigenous forest.

The 4 properties I mentioned are adjacent to to each other and have the Mshwati river flowing through or alongside them. The majority of the land is indigenous forest with some small patches of plantation and a lot of grassland. On the river are 5 significantly beautiful waterfalls, many pools and deep rocky clefts through which the river flows. L’Abri outdoor center approximately 400 acres belong to Youth For Christ and has been used to run camps for teenagers primarily. Bekezela Adventure Farm is about 300 acres and is at the top of the hill and has mostly been used to minister to younger kids and was started by Anton and Hazel who we are now staying with. Vumelana ( Zulu word for “place of covenant”) is owned by Anton’s brother and is the Family foundations international Africa headquarters and ministry centre. They do Ancient Paths seminars here and all over South Africa. Anton and Hazels property as yet unnamed is about 120 acres and his vision is to see it used for men’s ministry and Father/son ministry, though he is wiling to establish it he is not wanting to run it day to day and so is looking and praying for someone to do that. Currently, Bekezela and L’abri have the infrastructure to run programs, Vumelana is partially able to and is building more and Anton’s place is almost finished. The lodge which I have been working on is at the finishing stages, interor walls are going up and we are needing the finances (approximately $5000) to finish it.

We have a men’s camp booked in early February. So that’s a brief overview of the physical situation. The people are way more complex and we are just beginning to see into some of the relationships here. All in all I would say that everyone has been working really hard for a really long time and could use a fresh visitation from Jesus, even more that He would come and dwell here and change the atmosphere!

As for us we have just spent 12 days with my whole family except for my youngest brother and his family who could not make it. The 7 boy cousins ranging from Tim at 5 years old to Jed at 12 years old have had a blast together as only boys can. My two brothers Rod and David and I have enjoyed being together for the first time ever as we have all come from a very distant family, not to mention the geographical distance in my case. David’s wife Charmaine dared him to shave his head which then led to Rod shaving his head and then all the cousins ending up with either skinheads or Mohawks. Keldan and Tim are currently sporting Mohawks and Skye looks like a cancer patient. Hair however does grow so this is not a permanent state! (I hope) In spite of all the years of not communicating and all the messes contained in a dysfunctional family (and what family is not in some way?) we have seen Jesus do so much healing in our lives that we can now enjoy being together and dealing with our history in healthier ways.

Yeah God!!!

Well I’m going to Quit this chapter for now other than to say that it is good to be here, challenging the default modes we have lived in for so long, and most of all great to have time to be silent, time for my boys and much time for Becky and I to talk, enjoy each other and pray about the new season ahead of us as a family.

2007-12-18T07:34:00.001-08:00

After my contemplation of friendship this morning i should probably send a little news. My hands are almost too frozen to type as i sit out on the stoep (porch) in the fog and the rain posting this. The unseasonable cold weather will run itself out soon i hope as we would all love to have a bit of sunshine. We braved the impending cold front this morning and hiked to bekezela about 1 1/2 miles from where we are. Tim the Champ hiker did great on his longest hike yet and we got home before the rain. We are looking forward to summer finally arriving here, a month late already, so we can get out more. It's as cold here right now as back home, but without the insulated house and nice wood stove. When the sun does come out though it's great.
Bekezela had 4 cattle stolen this week end, the first theft that they have had. So we wonder and pray what that is all about as the Land changes over to Anton and Hazel's kids ownership and management and the status of the place as a kids camp is in question. There's a huge need for people resources to manage the place so that it can continue to be used to minister to and see life change in Kids as it has done in the past. The four properties tha fill this hilltop are all dedicated to ministry to the whole family, but are all deeply in need of Jesus coming to dwell here and unity is the prerequisite for that. I believe that is what He wants to see happen here, so pry with us that the way forward would become clear. Soth africa too as a nation is at a critical crossroads with the enemies agents of chaos, corruption and violence, ever threatening to take over, Pray with us please.

2007-12-18T06:59:00.000-08:00

A contemplation on friendship.

A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. Prov 18v24

Oil and perfume may gladden the heart, but the sweetness of a friend comes from his earnest council. Prov 27v9

A friend loves at all times and a brother is born for adversity Prov 17v17

Greater love has no man than this that someone lay down his life for his friends
John 15v13

I remember a conversation several months ago in our men’s group regarding one of us who had been off on a missions trip. Before and during the process he had felt abandoned by the group, partly because he had not made his need known and partly because we had been too busy with our own lives to take note of his need. As I sit here in the dark forest of South Africa, (literally as it has been raining almost non stop since we got here, and spiritually as there is a strong oppressive spirit at work here) I realize how desperately I need my friends and the men that I walk with day to day in prayer and battle and the ordinary stuff of life.

I remember two years ago as we spent three months in Costa Rica, I came to a surprising realization who my true friends were. They were the ones who remembered me when I was gone and took the time to communicate with me in any possible way. They were the ones who kept me in touch with my world that I had left behind for a time, who kept me in touch with the ordinary parts of their lives day to day which are so important to me because I love them. I was surprised by those who did take the time to communicate and by those who I thought would, but didn’t. I don’t write this to shame anyone or guilt trip anyone into doing something that is not in their hearts to do. However, if it does stimulate you to think about who and what you are as a friend to me and to others as it has challenged me again, then some good has come of this contemplation. So, partially I am stating a need; the need for ongoing relationship in this place where everything is new and different even though I did live here a long time ago. I will leave here in a few months and return home to a community I love and have chosen to pour my life into and will have missed out on a portion of your lives that matter to me.

After all the busyness has passed, the jobs, the work, the gathering of more and more possessions when Jesus returns, all we will be left with are the relationships that we have invested in, the fruit of the sacrifice of our own busy agendas to give of our time and presence to those that we say we love as well as people we don’t yet know who could have become valuable friends had we taken the time to invest in them. I challenge myself in this as I struggle to leave behind the work (projects) that even here get between me and my family. I’m being challenged daily to put them aside for the sake of building time and presence with my boys and Becky. It is not easy, my default and selfish pleasure is to work alone with my hands and produce something, rather than do the dishes with my sons, walk into the forest with them and explore or just play a game that they like to play. I've been strugglig to even want to repent of this, but Jesus has created a need in me to change the atmosphere in my family and will do so when i ask Him to. So I'm asking and will you partner in prayer and in loving your friends and family with me. They shall know we are His disciples by our love for one another, nothing else will prove it quite so well.

Well, I’ll end by asking for your prayers for me in this regard, and asking for a few minutes out of your day from time to time to e mail a friend who misses your presence. It’s wonderful after I have trudged up the hill in the rain and mud to fight through a slow internet connection, wade through the junk e mail to finally get a personal word of news and encouragement from someone I love.

2007-12-13T05:52:00.000-08:00

We’re officially back in the land of the living. A few good nights of sleep, settled into our new home, got the toilet to flush in our room, got the new storage tank set up and the hot water system running. Now we can take showers right outside our back door. We drove to Greytown to church at shalom ( for those who are reading “Faith Like Potatoes” ) on an awesome sunny Sunday and then when we got home did a family hike to the coolest tree platform I’ve ever seen ( pictures will follow sometime) and then after changing the tire on the Lada ( our little Russian 4x4 two kids in one seatbelt in the back seat ) we headed off to see a good friend in town. It’s great to catch up with old friends after so many years. So I’ve spent my last few days fighting with plumbing, not always having the right parts, so having to “make do” since town is an hours drive away with a horrible driveway that can only be negotiated by 4 wheel drive and a “do or die attitude”

So after a week we feel like we’ve finally arrived, the weather has started to feel like summer finally, hot sunny days with an afternoon or evening thunderstorm. The sun rises at about 4 am and the birds start singing shortly before that, probably at least twenty distinct varieties can be heard at the loudest volume they can muster, which is pretty impressive. Sun set in the evening is at about 6pm ish. Church at shalom ( about an hours drive on dirt roads ) was very refreshing. A simple service in a barn ( about twice the size of the bridge) mostly filled with farming folks, many of whom drive a long way to be there.

Learning to drive on the left again has been fun, and Becky’s back seat driving ability has been much appreciated as I pull out onto the right hand side of the road. We are driving a beat up (recently rolled onto it’s side) but still functional Lada Niva A Russian made 4x4 , sort of a cross between a beetle and a Toyota Rava. It’s a gem for negotiating the worst driveway in the world, one that would make the most die hard weekend warrior off roader wince! We hear the samango apes calling to each other in the trees outside our house, we’ve seen zebra and blesbok ( a kind of gazelle) lots of hawks and eagles and cool bugs galore. WE get to ride up and down the hill to get firewood in an old landrover that has to be seen to be believed, but the boys love it. They love no car seats and sitting in the back of the truck and the Pajero ( Ben and Russ and Rick you all can relate ) and all the adventure of new discoveries and heading off into the bush to find cool stuff. So as the weather improves we’ll hopefully be able to do more exploring as the rain and cold kept us pinned down last week. Well I miss you all terribly and it’s pretty isolated out here, which makes me realize how much of a social animal I’ve become since I lived here last.

I've spent the past few days framing some walls upstairs in the lodge. The first day all the cutting was done with a handsaw, but i've since been able to borrow a circular saw which has speeded things up a bit. Coming from having a fully eqipped shop to having a few archaic hand tools has been a little trying to say the least, but since production is not the goal here at the moment, the slower pace is okay. I have two young guys that Anton has employed for the holidays helping me. Andile and Tabani fetch and carry lumber and ar learning some basic wood working skills with me between farm chores. Keldan spent the day with me yesterday, pounding nails and holding boards while i cut them and generally being very useful extra hands.

I'm still trying to figure out how to put photo's on this blog and when i do we'll post some.

2007-12-07T10:38:00.000-08:00

Hi Friends, well we've made it here and are finally beginning to settle in. Jet lag, birds waking us up with the rising sun at 4am and the cold wet unseasonable weather have left us a little worn and wiped Becky and i out with a flu bug yesterday and today. We're definately realising how comfortable our lives are back home. Our little house has no hot water at the moment and toilets are flushed with a bucket until i can get the big storage tankand stand built to increase the water pressure. So the week has been one of trying to figure out what Becky can eat and trips to town to find food sources ( no health food stores like back home ) So up till now life has definately not been very comfortable, though we did have one hot sunny day that was delightful in amongst all the rain. Tonight i walked 15 minutes through the rain and the fog up to Anton's brother's house to use his wireless internet which is a wonderful gift for staying in touch with you all.

Ahead of us is the task of finishing the upstairs part of the lodge to accomodate the men that come here for ministry. As i look at it i'm somewhat daunted by the lack of tools and finances to do the job. Anton Has built this place on no budget and second hand materials, volunteer labor over the past 4 years. Much ministry has happened here in that time as men have come from far and wide to participate in it.
So at the moment it would take about $5000 to get the tools and materials to finish the lodge. Anyone got money they want to give away!

The boys are settling in well. We went swimming in the river on our one hot day, but are chafing at the miserable cold and rain, wanting to get out and explore the forest all around us, so we're praying for summer to arrie as is everyone else around here. It's late and i've been us since 3 am this morning so i'm off to bed. Will post some pictures soon.

2007-11-24T22:11:00.000-08:00

This will have to be a short post to update you all. We are 1 week from leaving for South Africa, our belongings are mostly in boxes and after 3 days of dusty work, my shop is mostly boxed and packed into the 8 x 12 finishing room. We have not sold our house yet, but have had a few lookers the past week which is encouraging after having no one look fr months. We have tried some ideas about renting or someone house sitting, but we keep hearing Holy Spirit saying to wait and all doors in that area are closed sofar, so as usual, my ideas are way too small, manageable and finite, so Jesus has a better plan and we wait to se what it is. In SA we will have a cottage, a car and a cell phone waiting for us, all before we even asked for them! Jesus is so kind to provide what we nee when we need it. So a lot can happen in 7 days! We'll keep you posted.

2007-10-06T12:02:00.000-07:00

Let me begin this blog with this premise. God is good 100% of the time! Holy Spirit is the best teacher. Jesus has paid the price for freedom and so i can live in it! His Kingdom is at hand - that means it is to be manifest now and in increasing measure until He returns to reign over all the earth. In the last days His Spirit will be poured out on all flesh. Joel 2 v28. We get to co-labor with Him in the process because He love to work through His sons and daughters. I love this journey.

So here we are at the tillamook cheese factory, the only cheesy photo we have of ourselves at the moment. We are delinquent at taking family pictures, but i hope that when we are at Bekezela we will be able to take lots of pictures and build lots of great memories for our family as we position ourselves for Jesus to recreate our family culture to one that reflects His Kingdom culture and the way that He thinks about family. My intention for this blog is to reflect on this journey for our friends and family to share.