I'm looking out of the trailer window at the greening valley, the sun is out the days are warm and everything is growing as fast as it can here in the mountains. The smell of pine trees a fresh air is like narcotics to me and each morning Becky and i wake up with the question " what are you up to today Father?"



I sat with Phil the pastor of the church here in Plain and talked about worship being something so much more than singing the same old songs and even the latest new ones each week. Worship we decided and are living, is simply recognising Jesus presence and responding to it. Walking through each day with our eyes and ears open to catch a glimpse and hear a whisper of His presence and when we see or hear just to revel in the moment. It's like an endless game of hide and seek with Daddy. No wonder Jesus says that we need to be like little children to see the Kingdom of God.

In the midst of our new life that is developing here in Plain, we have a house left in Anacortes that costs us too much money to have just sitting there empty each month, it has become a burden and my focus turned to it all this last week and i began to be offended at God for not selling it so we can get on with our lives here in the valley, build a house and get settled before winter comes. When i get offended with God and focus on what He is not doing, my whole life seems to spin out of control and circumstaces become bigger than Jesus can handle and i feel a desprate need to take control of things, and people and all that results from that is an ugly mess that i have to repent my way out of. Restoration only happens when i" set my eyes on things unseen" (1 Corinthians 4) and focus on what Jesus is doing and trust absolutely in His goodness and kind intentions toward me. What a rollercoaster the past few days has been and the hurt my family has had to suffer because i get angry when i feel out of control.

But there is grace! and iam a beloved son! It makes no sense in my mind and culture that there should be any grace for my failure or that i could be even remotely loveable at all, But Jesus....
we all know that He died for our sins, but i never knew till recently that He did'nt die to wipe out sin, but His motivation was that He loves me so much that He would rather die than live without me!